Glee ended 8 years ago and, since then, I have seen so many tweets and posts speculating what would’ve been covered had the show still been airing, and the list is endless. Seriously, like Captain America, I could do this all day. Eight whole years of music that Glee would’ve had access to for their ridiculous storylines. Some of these have actually been rendered on TikTok using AI technology to emulate the cast’s voices (please stop mixing art and AI in this way, I can’t stress this enough), but you’ll have to use your imagination to see these happen.
Here’s a non-comprehensive list of 15 songs that I know for sure Glee would’ve covered if they could’ve, and some probable contexts for these songs to go in. This is only scratching the surface of some of the last 8 years’ popular tracks, so there could probably be a thousand more instalments of this post in the future.
Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo
Sung by: Rachel Berry
Jesse has returned once again to mess with her in that flirtatious way that they do. Think her admittedly iconic Jar of Hearts performance at the Junior Prom, but more grown up. As I write this, I can picture Lea Michele’s crying/singing face. See also: driver’s license or honestly pretty much any Olivia song that they would hand to her.
Old Town Road by Lil Nas X ft Billy Ray Cyrus
Sung by: Will Schuester, Artie Abrams, and Sam Evans
Because of course, they perform this in the halls. Sweet baby and Blueprint darling Sam Evans wants to do a country week in Glee, but Will has other ideas. And because he doesn’t listen to his students or respect them, he assigns them a rap week. Sam is disappointed but not surprised and Artie helps him stage a revolt. The end of the week’s lesson culminates in Will “showing” everyone how rap and country can combine into one, resulting in a bizarre but honestly probably iconic performance that starts in the choir room but goes through the McKinley halls and into the auditorium where there are inexplicably some horses (live ones or prop ones it’s up to your imagination)
Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift
Sung by: Rachel Berry, Blaine Anderson, Santana Lopez, and Mercedes Jones
Glee took its final bow when Miss Taylor Swift had released 1989 but before the release of reputation (denying us an iconic Look What You Made Me Do performance by the Unholy Trinity btw) but if the show had been airing while Swift is at the height of her fame and her powers, there’s no way Ryan Murphy and co wouldn’t have cashed in on that. After only covering a handful of Taylor’s songs, there’s lots to choose from and I could’ve gone with any of these. But I think the Midnights lead single would’ve been the choice they made, with Mr Schue assigning an Eras Week in Glee Club; where everyone has to pick an era and perform a song (think Season 5’s disastrous “A Katy or a Gaga”). The final performance is a group celebration of Swift’s music, a mishmash of iconography from across the years. And yes, Dianna Agron will be in her 1989 era don’t you worry. But of course the show’s most frequent soloists will take the lead on this one, because I’m still not sure that Ryan Murphy knows that Jenna Ushkowitz was on his show at all.
Unholy by Sam Smith ft. Kim Petras
Sung by: Artie Abrams and Mercedes Jones
There’s no way Glee wouldn’t have been impacted by the musical dominance of TikTok as it exploded onto the scene, and in terms of viral hits that would’ve made the cut, Unholy is the one that comes to mind. Something something about the younger Glee kids trying to prove that social media can be a useful tool and they secretly enlist two ND alumni to prove a point. And they’re not exactly going to cover Mitski’s My Love Mine All Mine are they? Kevin and Amber would body Unholy though, for what it’s worth.
Flowers by Miley Cyrus
Sung by: Blaine Anderson
Another Kurt and Blaine breakup (don’t get me started) and another sad Blaine solo to follow. I would say this would be a duet but Ryan Murphy never lets Chris Colfer sing post Season 4 unless he absolutely has to, so Blaine would take this one solo. Darren Criss will demolish it of course, but it will be entirely unnecessary.
Waving Through a Window from Dear Evan Hansen.
Sung by: Kurt Hummel
One of the only picks on this list I can only envision in the New York portion of the storyline. NYADA’s Round Room definitely would’ve seen this happening at some point. Kurt’s having a storyline where he’s feeling down and unseen by his friends and classmates and he puts his entire soul into this performance and obviously nails it, solving all of his problems because that’s just how things work on Glee. Music has the power to make storylines just disappear into thin air. Also, I can really imagine Kurt putting all kinds of kooky embellishments on the arm-cast he designed for himself for this performance. Carmen Tibideaux will be gooped and gagged. Someone check on Ben Platt.
What Was I Made For? By Billie Eilish
Sung by: Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry
Okay, but let’s not pretend that Barbie wouldn’t have had its own week in Glee Club upon its release. Think of this as the unofficial sequel to the masterpiece mashup “I Feel Pretty/Unpretty” from Season 2. Quinn and Rachel are having a friendly moment in their frenemy relationship and are sharing the struggles of being a young woman in the world. They’re sat on stools in the choir room. They nail it and everyone cries.
Dance the Night by Dua Lipa
Sung by: New Directions girlies (Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, Tina, Quinn, Brittany, Unique)
Another Barbie track but come on…this would totally happen and be completely iconic. Mr Schuester announces that they’re doing Barbie week, the guys complain (yes this is just Madonna and Gaga week all over again) and the girls get up and show them exactly how it’s done in a fantasy performance sequence replete with the outfits from the movie, and honestly probably a Simu Liu cameo or something.
Señorita by Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello
Sung by: Will Schuester and Holly Holliday
Because we don’t deserve good things. But Holly Holliday would definitely have inexplicably come back from wherever she was substitute teaching for another dalliance with Will. Just in the same way that did Kiss by Prince as a tension-filled dance sequence, Señorita would provide a similar amount of weird, sexually-charged energy for these two, only for Holly to leave again at the end of the episode because Will is obviously just in love with Emma. It’s a boring storyline that goes nowhere, but they just love to get Gwyneth whenever they can. And I can’t really find it in myself to complain about that when she’s so absolutely iconic in the role.
Satisfied from Hamilton
Sung by: Rachel Berry
This would be unavoidable. With Mr Schue’s unfortunate penchant for “rapping”, the inevitable power of Hamilton on the musical theatre industry, and probably another Finn/Rachel/Quinn love triangle moment, Rachel would have her own little dream sequence to rewind time to when she and Finn were giving flirty vibes, significantly changing up the context of the original song. Still, Glee liked to do that a lot, and there is no storyline on Earth that could facilitate the use of this song in Rachel’s favour.
Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored by Ariana Grande
Sung by: New Directions Girls (Santana, Tina, Mercedes, Quinn)
Ariana Grande’s hold on popular music and pop culture in 2018/2019 was absolutely unparalleled and should be studied, and Ryan Murphy would have tried to do just that through song. I considered a universe where Quinn sang Thank u, next during her latest “I don’t need a boyfriend” storyline that resulted in her having a boyfriend two episodes later, but then I remembered how many solos Quinn got during the later seasons of Glee and had to change course. I considered a Dangerous Woman cover, but I couldn’t picture it. This one, though, I can hear perfectly. I genuinely think the storyline wouldn’t be important or relevant to the song, they would just do it because it was a hit.
Hello by Adele
Sung by: Santana Lopez
Don’t care about the storyline, don’t care about the context, this would’ve slapped.
Rain On Me by Lady Gaga ft. Ariana Grande
Sung by: Rachel Berry and Mercedes Jones
Rachel doing the Gaga parts, and Mercedes taking on Ariana. Yes, it will be performed out in the rain for no other reason than to make the song work somehow. Glee loved to do every Gaga single they could get their hands on and Ariana was just entering her pop girl domination era when Glee was airing its final season, but there’s no way they’d stay away from this. One of Rachel and Mercedes’ classic sing-offs (Mercedes clears every time) in the arena of pop music this time rather than musical theatre.
Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish
Sung by: Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson
While Glee loved to cover the biggest pop hits of the year and every musical theatre standard in the book, it also helped bring up and coming artists to a more mainstream audience (Think A Great Big World or fun for some examples of this). I think they would’ve had their finger on the pulse with Billie Eilish. While I personally would give this song to the likes of Tina or perhaps Marley, Glee loved nothing more than an inexplicable Klaine duet (yes, I’m still mad about Candles), so this probably would’ve done the job in terms of a romantic duet.
Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper
Sung by: Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry
I actually gasped when I thought of this one. I can see it so clearly now. Regionals! It’s a now-or-never moment for the New Directions, but Finn and Rachel have almost kissed backstage after months of will-they-won’t-they tension and now they have to go out there and win Regionals because apparently they’re the only two people who can sing in this club. Anyway, they go out and absolutely kill it and they win Regionals and I’m left tormented by the sound of Rachel straining for the high note.
And that’s what you could have missed on Glee!
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This year, for Snixxmas, the Glee Cast have released a previously-unreleased song from Naya Rivera, which you can stream here. Donations to Alexandria House can be made here.
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